Before I even gave birth I felt it. That overwhelming sense of too much advice (that is supposed to be well intended by the way) and a lack of personal expertise in the area. The combination makes for what we all like to call, mom guilt!
Social media is our worst enemy sometimes, especially when it comes to parenting.
Hop on to Facebook and you see everyone’s best. Their best clothes, the best area of their home, their child/ren behaving their best. And as we scroll through we can’t help but feel defeated.
That’s where comparing comes in.
Why doesn’t my house look like that, why aren’t my children quietly playing chalk with each other, or why didn’t my dog learn to poop in the toilet so I didn’t have to pick it up in the backyard!?
Ok that last one might be a bit of an exaggeration but that is what happens.
When we start comparing our ‘real’ lives to other people’s ‘social media’ lives we start thinking irrationally (then mom guilt creeps in).
The definition of irrationality is cognition, thinking, talking, or acting without inclusion of rationality. What if we tweaked that a little bit and said that irrationality is cognition, thinking, or acting without inclusion of reality.
It’s irrational to think that what you see on social media is reality because we all know….it’s totally not!
The most organized, patient, fun person can’t have it all together all the time!
So why do we do it?! Why do we fall for that irrational trap of perfection on someone else’s post or on the other hand why do we make our lives seem perfect?!
Maybe because it makes us feel like one area of our lives (social media) is normal or maybe we seek everyone else’s approval?
But what if everyone showed us their true selves? What if pictures of perfectly decorated kitchens and well-behaved kids were replaced with real photos. Pictures of kids making a mess in the kitchen while they baked with their mom or kids in miss matched shirts and shorts with cowboy boots while they wet all the chalk sticks and hand painted with them instead!
What would happen?
We could assume our mom guilt would subside and our anxiety lowered. We wouldn’t feel as if we weren’t worthy of motherhood or that we aren’t good at it. We wouldn’t feel like we are the only mom who hasn’t showered in five days, has spit up all over them, and whose house is in shambles (or that they’re the ONLY person who hasn’t taught their dog to poop in the toilet)!
We could focus on the more important things in life instead like playing with our kids, exploring nature, and enjoying all of life’s beautiful messes!
We would feel normal and we wouldn’t have to seek everyone else’s approval! Wouldn’t that feel amazing?!
We could use all that energy comparing and having mom guilt on molding a life well-loved.
A life we love to live!
So like Elsa in Frozen ….
Let it go,
Let it go,
I’ll rise like the break of dawn,
Let it go, Let it go,
The perfect girl is gone…
Stop trying to be perfect and enjoy your life because it’s the only one we’ve got!
Have you dealt with mom guilt stemmed from comparing?!